Me. At least after what I've been through.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
