"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
