My room smells like vodka and shame
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
