you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
