What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize