6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
