her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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