After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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