The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
