Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
