And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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