Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You pole danced in your parka.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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