whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
