And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
