He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
