dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
