Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
