I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
