Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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