I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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