I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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