Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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