Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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