your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
