I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
