no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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