there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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