Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
