Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Someone shattered a urinal.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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