I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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