his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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