Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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