You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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