It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
