she smelled like a LAN party
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
