I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
