We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
You're like the curious george of whores
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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