Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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