We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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