We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
