Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
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