4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
