I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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