I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
