woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
