I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
