Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
