He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
