You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize