I think my fart just growled at me.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
