good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
i out mim tonsoeep
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