you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Alive.
So much puke
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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