No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
