loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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