I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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