Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
