My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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